THE FUNNIES

PICKLE JAR by Becky

Funny Business welcomes two brand new members: Susan Julian ("Q" The Storylady") and Edgar Rios (Kiwi). Membership renewals are continuing to come in. We have received many new members within the last six months and there may be a bit of confusion about when YOUR dues are due. If you joined within the last six months your dues were prorated. (You did not pay the full price of membership) As of the June meeting $18 is due to renew your membership for a full year. The following people have current "paid up" memberships through May 2003: Skippy, Pickles, Princess Pipsqueak, Bellolin, Gospel Gus, Praisen Penny, "Q", Clyde, Candy, Pinkie, Sweetheart, Rootsie-Tootsie, Molly, Wendy, Tonette, Mr. Pizza, DeeNee, Kiwi, Pom-Pom, Chuckles, Like You, Honey, Butterscotch, Ritz, and Klinko. This will be the last newsletter for non members.

July 4th Parade
Calling all Clowns!!! Anaheim Hills has once again contacted us to participate in their July 4th Parade. Pom-Pom and Clyde graciously volunteered to attend but it would be even more fun with a larger number of clowns to walk together. This is not a long parade so you WILL have energy left for the rest of the day. The groups meet at the staging area starting at 1:30 and the parade begins at 3:00. Oh yes, as added incentive Funny Business will receive $100 for our efforts! Call Becky at (714) 484-9705 if you can join us. Detailed information will be mailed to each participant.

July 8th Meeting
Funny Business Presents RON LONDON!!!
Ron has been a full-time performer since 1971 opening for such well-known people as Bob Hope, Pat Paulsen, The Smothers Brothers and more recently "Politically Incorrect" Bill Marr. His professional credits also include being a consultant on three of the David Copperfield TV specials and lectures in every major city in the United States including nine different occasions at the Hollywood Magic Castle. He will be coming directly from the IBM Convention in San Diego and we are honored to host his ONLY California lecture. This lecture will include easy-to-make and easy-to-do show material that "packs small but plays BIG". In addition his dealer table, he will include items suitable for clown walk-around. Don't miss this lecture! (There will be a $5 charge for non members.)

COAI NEWS by Candy

At the last meeting there was discussion of becoming an alley, a COAI alley in particular. We would like to have an on going discussion from other members on this. Just to let you all know who didn't attend the last meeting, there are some great benefits in becoming a COAI alley. First, there is the Calliope Magazine that is sent out to members every two months with lots of information on clowning, conventions and classes, and clown vendors. To be an alley in WCA an alley would have to pay a fee each year to WCA, with COAI there is a one time $100 fee, with the requirement that everyone must be a member of COAI. COAI offers many wonderful programs, one of which is the "Artist in Residence" in which COAI sponsors alley members that are willing to go out and teach to other alleys. The alley pays for half of their fees while COAI pays the other half. Imagine what Clown Artist we could have come and teach at our meetings with COAI paying for half the cost! In the next newsletter I will give more information on another program that COAI offers to it's alleys. You can join COAI online at: http://www.coai.org/
If any clown has any questions about COAI, well don't ask me. . .just kiddin. . .I'll see all of you at the next meeting!

FYI
For all you curly wig clowns, here is a great way to spruce up your curly wig. I have been buying my disco curly wigs from Cheri Oats, (also president of COAI. . .he he) and in her last shipment she sent me a wig care sheet. In it she suggested washing your wig in cool water with a synthetic wig cleaner and then taking your wig after the washing and putting it in a towel and rolling it up to get the excess water out, BUT that's not all. . .OH NO, then take some styling gel (preferably the shiny styling gel) and while it is still wet, rub the gel through your wig gently, gently separating the curls and then let it hang to dry. It will be almost as good as new and you will have saved the life of your curly wig for a while longer. . .

REMINDER:
Don't forget, Clown week is coming up. . .are you ready??
Also:
The SNACK list for the year:

(we still need two people for November and one more for April)

THE FUNNIES SECTION:

A collection of "interesting" statements allegedly included on insurance accident claim forms - some old, some new:
"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."
"A car drove away at speed catching our client who went up in the air and his head went through the windshield and then rolled off at the traffic lights a good few feet away. The car then sped off and miraculously our client remained conscious and managed to cross the road."
"I pulled onto the shoulder with smoke coming from under the hood. I realized the car was on fire, so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."
Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?
A customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were:
Q - What warning was given by you?
A - Horn
Q - What warning was given by the other party?
A - Moo
"I had one eye on a parked car, another on approaching trucks, and another on the woman behind."
"On the M6 I moved from the centre lane to the fast lane but the other car didn't give way."
"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."
"Three men approached me from the minibus. I thought they were coming to apologize. Two of the men grabbed hold of me by the arms, and the first slapped me several times across the face. I kneed the man in the groin, but didn't connect properly, so I kicked him in the shin."
"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"
"I was on my way to see an unconscious patient who had convulsions and was blocked by a tanker."
"Mr. X is in hospital and says I can use his car and take his wife while he is there. What shall I do about it?"
"No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it happened."
"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."

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Your Funny Business Board and Associates:

Karla "Klinko" Medeiros, President
949/496-5073 Klinko@ cox.net

Nan "Rootsie-Tootsie" Miller, Vice President
909/625-7571 glsngrns@ gte.com

Becky "Pickles" Goodyear, Secretary/Treasurer
714/484-9705 Picklescln@ aol.com

Paulette "Pom-Pom" Rosen, Webmaster for "Clown Pages"
714/539-4472 paulette@ rosensystems.com
http://clownpages.com

Send all Articles by the first of the month to:
Candy "Butterscotch" Will, Newsletter Editor
949/489-9971 Btrsctch4H@ cs.com